


You And I Strive To Endure

by ninathena



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Baby Fic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Future Fic, Implied/Referenced Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-08-18 09:36:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8157500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninathena/pseuds/ninathena
Summary: Clarke and Bellamy have a quiet moment after a bittersweet birth.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little fic I decided to finish after finding it on my computer. It's not great, but I hope you like it :)

Clarke’s not exactly surprised to see him in here. Where else would Bellamy be at a time like this? He’s always had a natural affinity with kids, memories of him and Miller running across the field as they play their weekly round of soccer with the small group of Arker children pops into her mind.

But she’s never seen him with an infant before, and watching him now as he sits in this silent, shadowed room, gazing down with such tenderness at the motionless baby in his arms is making her stomach flip and her heart clench in ways she’s only rarely allowed herself to before.

Crossing her arms, she slowly inclines towards the doorway, leaning against it, head tipping to the side, just taking in the sight of him for a moment. A kind of calm she doesn’t often associate with him, except when he sleeps, exudes from his relaxed body, filling the darkened room with a lightness that she can’t help but smile at.

The rocker squeaks under his weight whenever he moves it, piercing through the hushed space, but he doesn’t hear it, all his attention completely devoted to the newborn in his arms. His finger brushes down a pink cheek that peeks out from between the swaddling clothes and hat, and she can imagine his calloused skin she knows so well caressing such softness.

The bundle squirms and Bellamy freezes, pausing until the wriggling baby stills.

She pushes off the entrance, making sure her footfalls echo on the metal floor, announcing her presence.

He looks up in surprise, and even in the dusky light she can see the gleam of sadness in his dark eyes. “Hey,” he whispers, voice raspy and unused.

“Hey.”

The air is charged around them with words unspoken, yet hang heavy in the air. Neither of them are ready to break it just yet.

The baby’s face is turned into Bellamy’s bicep as he holds it’s head in the crook of his arm. It’s tiny features are smooth and relaxed, rosy lips suckling at the air in it’s sleep. It’s cute in a way, she supposes. She’s not really a baby person after being present in one too many delivery rooms on the Ark.

She bends over, reaching out to stroke her knuckles down the paper-thin skin of it’s temple.

“How’s your mom?”

Her hand travels down chubby cheeks and dimpled chin, until her fingers rest atop the little chest that rises and falls in rapid succession under her touch, a tiny heartbeat fluttering beneath. Ok, it’s kind of amazing.

“Sleeping.”

Bellamy only nods. She can feel his gaze on her, questioning – but is she _alright_? Are _you_ alright? Do you need to talk? But all he asks is, “Do you want to hold him?”

Her eyes snap up, wide and round, much like the shape of her mouth before she can start her protests. Bellamy’s face lights up, amused at the sight, chest shaking as he chuckles gently, remembering the sleeping bundle he holds against it.

“You’re gonna have to hold him sooner or later. He is your brother after all.”

She closes her eyes for a moment. Her brother. She has a brother. It’s almost too unbelievable.

They switch places, Bellamy handing her the bundle once she’s comfortably seated before kneeling in front of her.

She peers down at this tiny person, so innocent and helpless, and she feels an instinct to protect him well up within her, nearly consuming her. It’s similar to the devoted dedication she has to their people, except… it’s not. It’s more like a fervent, wild desperation, but still so natural within her.

She wonders if this is what Bellamy has had to deal with, this overwhelming feeling to care for another since Octavia’s birth. And for the first time, she can almost understand the absolute heartbreak that must tear at him day in and day out, not knowing where his sister _is_ , or if she’s even alive.

The sudden empathy she has for him makes her breath catch – she can’t imagine it, the resounding pain. He hides it well, taking care of his duties as well as his people – always there for Monty, or Jasper or _anyone_ who needs a kind word or a listening ear. He’s attentive, considerate… yet separate, keeping himself locked away. Always giving but never taking.

She lifts her hand from her brother, running the tips of her fingers lightly through the curls around his ear, and the look he gives her is so solemn yet earnest, so full of adoration for her it shines through his eyes. It scares her at first, but then she remembers this is Bellamy, her closest confidant and best friend. He’s her other half, her person, and there’s nothing she should ever be afraid of when it comes to him and their relationship.

“I love you.” She whispers it like a fragile thing, like the words will shatter if said too loud.

He’s said it before, multiple times. First time offhandedly before leaving on a hunt. They’d both froze, faces so near after just having kissed goodbye. He’d swallowed hard and cleared his throat before parting, and she’d spent the better half of the week agonizing over what to do when he returned. Turns out she didn’t need to do anything, as he immediately apologized the moment they were alone, explaining himself, because as he saw it, they never knew how much time they had in this world and he wanted to be honest with her.

He loved her, he’d announced. He’d loved her longer than he could remember, but as true as it was, he didn’t expect her to say it back.

She’d tried to argue – to apologize. Of course she cared for him she tried to explain, but he’d silenced her. He didn’t need to hear it, he didn’t want her to feel obligated to feel something she didn’t. He just wanted to be with her for as long as she was willing to have him. And once again, his selflessness left her speechless.

He said it more often after that, and it scared her at first, leaving her stiff and uncomfortable in his presence each time the words would casually leave his mouth. But she’d eventually grown used to them, even looking forward to them peppered throughout their daily routine.

She could feel the itch to return the sentiment. Growing stronger every time the gravely sound of his voice rasped it into her ear as they made love, or muttered it low and embarrassed whenever she did something to make him smile that goofy smile he tried so hard to hide.

But something held her back, a heaviness blocking her throat whenever she tried release it. But looking at him now, expression a mix of both joy and regret, and a reminder of what it is they’d been fighting for all these years laying heavy in her arms, she feels… ready.

He stares at her for so long she starts to rethink her timing. She should’ve waited until after such a poignant moment had passed, after they’ve had time to heal from the bittersweet birth. But his eyes shine as he swallows hard, lips tugging up into a bright smile that he only she ever sees.

“I love you, too.”

Her thumb traces his strong jaw, smoothing down his neck to rest on his wide shoulder.

He raises a hand to cradle her brother’s head just above her elbow. “It’s not fair.”

She shakes her head mournfully. “No, it’s not. But life down here never has been.”

“He deserves to know his father.”

Her eyes fix on his tight face. He’s trying to hold himself back, keep himself in check. Ever since Kane’s death it was always about their people, her mother, _her_. But she can see how much the older man’s death has affected him as well – their relationship far more than just mentor and protégé. And she’s reminded that he’s yet to actually mourn the man himself.

“He will,” she says with determination. “Because there won’t be a day that goes by that we don’t tell him.”

Bellamy nods, a lone tear escaping down his cheek before he ducks his head. She covers his hand with her own.

“Life’s not gonna be easy for him,” he says, his usually strong voice breaking, “not having a dad.”

And she smiles of all things, making Bellamy frown. “No,” she repeats again. “But he has the biggest, craziest family anyone could ever ask for.” Her hand slides down, squeezing his wrist. “And he has you.”

The words hit him hard, and he looks back down again, sniffing at the grimy floor.

“Besides, who else is going to teach him all of Kane’s boring lessons?”

He looks surprised at first before cracking another smile through his tears. “Boring?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure you were the only one that ever listened to him once he started droning on.”

“I happened to like listening to Kane’s… words of wisdom.”

She cocks her head, a teasing brow arched high. “Well you would, wouldn’t you. I’ve heard your overly dramatic speeches before. You two were more alike than either of you would ever admit.”

Bellamy’s smile turns into a lopsided grin, a knowing look on his face. “You like my speeches.”

She’s quiet as she smiles back, allowing herself to grasp how lucky she is despite all the heartbreak that’s followed her through the years. “Maybe,” she concedes softly. “Maybe I think it’s time you start giving them again.”

“Maybe I will.”


End file.
